ribbonhood.com

“When I was young, and I told you I saw daddy jumping on you. Were you guys having sex?”

“Did you regret marrying at 19, and then leaving your family to live in a different country?”

“What was your hobby?”

“How did you learn to speak the English language?”

“Have you cheated on daddy before?”

“Do you secretly wanted a boy? What you wanted to name me actually?”

“Did you cry, when you and daddy divorced? Why?”

“Do you miss your kids?”

“What was your biggest regret?”

“If given a choice, what are the things you would have done differently?”

I guess after 2 months in the school, I ought to write something about my new school.

When I dropped out of NAFA, Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts, I was at loss on where should I go. I know what field of study I wanted to go into, but I don’t know which school could offer me the course that I want. I took a year (of google-ing) before I finally settled down on OS. It was really hard researching about OS because there was no one writing/talking about it.

Things that I looked out for when I searched for the schools are:

1. Affordability
2. EduTrust
3. CPE Registration
4. University Affiliations

I consider them as my very important criteria that the school I would be going to must fulfill. To be honest, I was skeptical when I first got in because there was no reviews, and there wasn’t any student works which I could look at.

But on my first day in school, I did nothing but learn during every single lesson. The teachers are great professionals who knows what the client wants and do not want. All in all, its a very realistic school. No spoon-feeding inside. The Principal and the Academic Director are very knowledgeable in the working industry. It’s not enough to have one skill anymore, you ought to have at least 2. After OS, I might go back to interior and/or take up programming.
PS/ Any schools offering this?

And here, is my very humble student work portfolio after 2 months in Orita.

And you can check out the class assignments here, Carbonmade.

These are not the final pieces. I’ll have to tweak them and edit them to look fantastically fabulous to include them in my portfolio. Which I think would be my last module of the whole course, Portfolio Development.

Please do not judge! This is after only 2 months in school.

Okay, so few days ago, I was working at Rubi as usual. Very bored at work, wishing time would pass by when there was a call for me.
My 2nd In Charge (2IC) called and told me that I must, must go back home after work today. I was actually planning to sleep over at my boyf’s house, so ya..

I was really excited to know that I had a surprise awaiting for me. To be honest, I thought it was something like the Best Employer award. Maybe because they felt sad for me.

Because the day before, while working, I saw an ex-colleague of my previous shop, Cotton On. She said that the whole store staff was terminated as one of the staff had stolen thousands of money from the shop tills. I was transferred out because of a missing $400, and was blamed/accused of. The managers there hated me because of the missing $400. So when I heard the news, I was so overwhelmed that I cried while telling it to my current manager. My name is finally cleared!

Anyway, when I got home and went to the kitchen, I instantly knew what was the surprise was.

They bought so many food for my family!! Best surprise ever because I can feel each and every love emitting from this products! (weird description, i know)
I saw cheese slices, rice, cup noodles, instant porridge, biscuits, etc..

I was actually thinking of working lesser so I can earn more money elsewhere, but this, I don’t wanna leave my part time job anymore. I love them for loving me. I never thought I can find true friends again, until I met them. Life is good.

PS/ I’ve been hounding my ex-colleagues on Facebook to message me the details of the thief. But they all seemed reluctant to tell me. Why? One was awfully rude though, “I can’t be bothered to tell you”. Should I just give it up? My name is cleared, yay. But I want to know details so I can have my fair share of evil laugh as well.

PS/ PS/ Please share some love on http://derella.me/ I write the fashion inspiration columns.

The Chinese have this saying that on the 7th year (or towards your 7th year) of your relationship is a test from above. If you do pass it, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are destined to be together.

I don’t believe it at all because I dont think superstitions should affect the way you live. Like how horoscope does. But, I would be lying if I said it didn’t affect me one bit at all.

Jerr and I have been together for 6 years. We are both Chinese, but the way we were raised were different. His, is more traditional. Greeting your elders, no calling the elders by their name, etc.. I’m different. My dad was adopted by a European man, and my mom is Thai. One of the many things my boyfriend doesn’t like about my family is that my younger sisters call me by name.

If his younger brother were to call my boyfriend by his name, he not only will receive a slap (on the mouth), but also be frown upon as rude.

Anyway, this goes back to a very stupid quarrel over .. food.

I was inviting Jerr over to my house for lunch when he made a passing comment about how he doesn’t like my mom’s way of cooking. I took offense to that because I love my mom and I don’t see anything wrong with it. Jerr was saying how he doesn’t like how my family cook one dish and that’s the only dish that my family eats with rice. Whereas his “healthy” family will cook many healthy dishes like vegetables, fish, meat and soup. Which I’m willing to change but I still want my Thai curry. ( He doesn’t remembers, but we talked about this at least twice)

I was already offended and started attacking his race. Oh the irony, I’m Chinese too. I was like “compare your family to my family. Who is more healthier?”

It all ended with Jerr asking (loudly and angrily) if it’s because he talked about my recently divorced mom. Which is obviously sensitive. He had no idea what my mom went through (getting married at 19 with a guy 16 years her senior, going to a foreign country without knowing a single word of English and raising 2 kids at aged 21). And he had no idea what I have to go through, taking over my mom’s place and taking care of family. Yes, talking about my mom is very sensitive.

Then, my boyfriend got all riled up on how I can talk about his mom’s way of teaching is wrong (which I do quite often actually) while he can’t. Which is obviously wrong, since Jerr’s younger brother is very spoilt. And even Jerr’s cousin is talking about it, so it cannot be just  me who finds it wrong. Heck, even Jerr thinks is bad.
But what’s worse is, he rather our future kids to be raised by his mom instead of my mom. The fact that he doesn’t want my mom to raise my kids? Is my mom so bad that he doesn’t like my mom’s way? Did I turn out stupid? 

I was pissed at that time, but I didn’t say anything. Fuck you with your “I don’t want your mother to take care of our kids, I want my mother to raise them“.

The connection to this quarrel with the above-mentioned quote is that after every single quarrel now, I feel that it’s a test. I would come up with options to continue or scenarios to end it. And right now, I’m thinking “If you don’t like my family’s way of living, then there is no point in continuing this relationship. Because we are from two different cultures.”

But you know I wouldn’t say that. I’m too chicken/I’m not that pissed anymore/I’m just whatever..

One thing I really, really don’t like is when he expects me to be like someone else.

“I expect you to know it!”
“How would I know?”
“Other people know it”
“I am not other people.” 

And now, he expects me to be like his mom, cooking “healthy” dishes everyday. Which, I’m willing to change because I know he likes his food to be healthy not because I think its healthy.

NUM “Miss Anorexic” shirt, skirt from Thailand, Cotton On Body socks, Cotton On Rubi black flats.

Not really my Outfit of The Day because I covered up by wearing a grey tank underneath.

So few days back, I counted my hours for March and my pay, I realised I would not have enough to pay my school fees for the next term. I’m pretty worried, but not so because I somehow feel I could lean back on my dad? My relationship with him became less awkward after my facebook status. I mean, my schooling allowance is purely me. He just need to fork out for my school fees.. I don’t think he has the money though, since he donated most of it to the building of a school in Thailand. I can’t complain, it was for the better good.

I do hope he comes home before the fees are due, so maybe I could ask him for about $500 out of the $700 I have to pay (He’ve given $2000 previously). If he doesn’t, then I’ll have to make a huge change to my lifestyle to the point that I have to skip on meals or eat the cheapest in whatever food places I’m going. The funny thing is, my classmates thinks I’m filthy rich. Maybe because I don’t have a Chinese surname, and he probably thinks that I’m from a rich family like all western expats do. I like that he thinks that way, but its not. I don’t know how he thinks that way, but I’ve been behaving as poorly as I could. Like eating cheap food, saving deals coupon on my phone, buying cheap art materials and going around sourcing for cheap printing shops. However, I am subconsciously trying to keep that (fake) reputation, because I don’t really want anyone to know I’m that poor.

Since the starting of March, I’ve been religiously tracking my every spending on this Iphone app, Toshl. I love this app to bits, and I can learn so much more from where my money is going. Before my financial woes few years back, I spent wildly. My boyfriend, Jerrome, didn’t like it very much and made me write where all my spending went to. It became an on-off habit which proved useful when I was thrown in this big money mess.

My budget for the month was $300; $10 everyday! But apparently I overshot it, by a lot. And it’s not the end of March yet. *cries inside* I did not add in my major expenses like overdued bills, because there were over $100. I will, next month though.

As you can see, I have stupid money wastage on stupid doctor fees. And that I ate a lot. Personal is when I started shopping for my own benefits, like buying a bra after using staff discount and giftcard. It was only $.70 so whatever. I can’t remember the rest of my personal spendings though.

Anyway, starting today, I will strive to

1. not eat during tea break (where I usually indulge in $2 chocolate brownies)
2. not eat night snacks after school (which ends at 10pm and it is inevitable that people get hungry)
3. not shop and use the ‘personal’ tag (I can do this )

Only 3 things, should be easy. Like for yesterday, I was craving for fried snacks after school ($4) but I went home and made peanut butter sandwich (free). Yay, $4 saved! I’m still craving for fried food.

PS/ Did you see the new theme I had on? I made it myself. First ever wordpress theme!

During Illustration class, I went out to inform my shop that I couldn’t work the next day as I was not feeling well. Was a little warm, and I think that I might be having a slight fever.

They did managed to find a replacement for me, yay! BUT, I was required to produce an MC (Medical Certificate). Furthermore, an MC from my company’s clinic which is a private clinic, which cost 2x more expensive than government clinics. This is stupid.

I’ve already lost my “money” by cancelling my shift, and yet they ask me to pay more money to see a doctor which I don’t even need? Yes, I am highly confident that I’ll get well without medicine.

Pssssh!

So now, I have 2 concerns..
a) I’ll get better tomorrow and not be sick enough for an MC (I don’t see the doctor when I’m sick, unless its serious)
b) I won’t have money to even see the doctor.

Thanks to all who replied to my entry regarding my sister.

Few days back, I found out the photocopied diary pieces was missing from underneath my laptop. I know, such a bad place to put such stuffs since Joyanna uses my laptop almost all the time.

Anyway, I decided it was time to approach the topic with her. I yet asked her to answer my questions. Which involves very weird stuffs like
“What do you think of porn”. Or “what do you think of sex.”
She at first tried to deny knowing the meaning of the terms but I told her that I know she knew and she should answer my question. She wrote on the paper given that “porn is bad” and that we should only have sex “when we’re 30″. At least some innocence is there.

I then ask her to take her diary out. By then, Joyanna already knew where I was going so she yet again tried to deny any knowledge where her diary was. I was not fooled, and got her to hand her diary over. The diary in question was a Christmas gift from someone.

I questioned her about the entry and joyanna said something along the lines of “we hate Nicole so my friend write all these in my diary”. I was relived that it was not about her and her fantasy. But it was still wrong to write such stuffs.

I asked her if her diary was a hate diary, a diary to write hateful things about people. This was the breakthrough I needed, I think. Because instead of seeing fear in her eyes, I saw sadness. She replied softly, “it was supposed to be my drawing diary”.

YES!

I asked her what to do, and she immediately tore the pages out. She asked me if it was okay to wet the pages. 0.0 wet it? I asked. She said she was afraid of taking back the pages after throwing it away. Apparently she hate on Nicole quite often. -.-

Another whole lot of conversation on how would she feel if Nicole does that to her. And how she must understand that disliking people is okay but she shouldnt done what she did. As that was wrong in so many levels.

After the conversation, she said she is able to trust herself to not take back the diary entries from the trash. Which I doubt will happen because we clear our trash bins everyday.