Not again

My mom was diagnosed with kidney failure last month. ?

I don’t know what affected me the most – the kidneys or the fact that I have to pay for dialysis for my mom for x amount of years. ?

I was sad then angry, but most of all, all I could think of ‘Not again‘. ? My parent’s divorce gave me this huge financial weight when they decided to stop taking care of my baby sister ?, then i hired a live-in helper for my old grandmother last year ?, then this year my mom has kidney failure⁉️ I feel that it is really unfair, for me to pay for every-single-thing. ?

I have worked for 3 years, and I have no savings at all. ? I thought I could like wait for the next pay increment. But with every increment, comes in a new payment milestone for me. ? For example, my new job pays me $300 more than the previous. But my new live-in helper cost me $600. ? So I’m paying more than the increment.

Yesterday my sister’s favourite private tutor, which i stopped because I was using the tutor funds for my mom’s dialysis, approached me. ? She was going to give me a discount for her tutoring fees. I can’t prevent my sister when she wants to study, right? ? Then today, I received my insurance renewal notice. I need to pay $500 by tomorrow.  ?

And I’m trying to save! ?
I’ve stopped buying food for lunch opting to bring from home instead.
I’ve stopped taking cabs.
I’ve stopped shopping for unnecessary stuffs (although I’m thinking of signing up for this one-day calligraphy workshop)

The only thing I have not stopped is my Friday unwind session ?, which is mainly dinner out, with drinks and midnight cabs. ? You can’t ask me to stop my unwind session! ? A little unfair considering the shit I have to deal with. It’s the only thing that keeps me from feeling like my family is sucking my wallet dry. ?

And except for holidays. ✈️ I’m going to Japan ?? in 2 months, and I have $100 in savings. I need at least $2000 to enjoy my Japan trip. ?

I’m also visiting family in Thailand during Christmas ?, which is another cost. My initial plan was to bring my baby sister over but boom! Kidney failure. ? So I can’t do that.

There’s so many things I need to do and pay, I’m using a to-do list app for the first time. ? I even do freelance on the side to supplement my income. ? Do you know how tiring it is? To work after you work?

I need alcohol, I’m almost burned out. ?

1 thought on “Not again”

  1. Wow, I can’t imagine dealing with all that. You’re an amazing person to do all that you do…that’s a lot for one person…and to pay for all that too, man…I can’t help much other then to say I hope things get easier. *hug*

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