The Chinese have this saying that on the 7th year (or towards your 7th year) of your relationship is a test from above. If you do pass it, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are destined to be together.
I dont believe it at all because I dont think superstitions should affect the way you live. Like how horoscope does. But, I would be lying if I said it didnt affect me one bit at all.
Jerr and I have been together for 6 years. We are both Chinese, but the way we were raised were different. His, is more traditional. Greeting your elders, no calling the elders by their name, etc.. Im different. My dad was adopted by a European man, and my mom is Thai. One of the many things my boyfriend doesnt like about my family is that my younger sisters call me by name.
If his younger brother were to call my boyfriend by his name, he not only will receive a slap (on the mouth), but also be frown upon as rude.
Anyway, this goes back to a very stupid quarrel over .. food.
I was inviting Jerr over to my house for lunch when he made a passing comment about how he doesnt like my moms way of cooking. I took offense to that because I love my mom and I dont see anything wrong with it. Jerr was saying how he doesnt like how my family cook one dish and thats the only dish that my family eats with rice. Whereas his healthy family will cook many healthy dishes like vegetables, fish, meat and soup. Which Im willing to change but I still want my Thai curry. ( He doesnt remembers, but we talked about this at least twice)
I was already offended and started attacking his race. Oh the irony, Im Chinese too. I was like compare your family to my family. Who is more healthier?
It all ended with Jerr asking (loudly and angrily) if its because he talked about my recently divorced mom. Which is obviously sensitive. He had no idea what my mom went through (getting married at 19 with a guy 16 years her senior, going to a foreign country without knowing a single word of English and raising 2 kids at aged 21). And he had no idea what I have to go through, taking over my moms place and taking care of family. Yes, talking about my mom is very sensitive.
Then, my boyfriend got all riled up on how I can talk about his moms way of teaching is wrong (which I do quite often actually) while he cant. Which is obviously wrong, since Jerrs younger brother is very spoilt. And even Jerrs cousin is talking about it, so it cannot be just me who finds it wrong. Heck, even Jerr thinks is bad.
But whats worse is, he rather our future kids to be raised by his mom instead of my mom. The fact that he doesnt want my mom to raise my kids? Is my mom so bad that he doesnt like my moms way? Did I turn out stupid?
I was pissed at that time, but I didnt say anything. Fuck you with your I dont want your mother to take care of our kids, I want my mother to raise them.
The connection to this quarrel with the above-mentioned quote is that after every single quarrel now, I feel that its a test. I would come up with options to continue or scenarios to end it. And right now, Im thinking If you dont like my familys way of living, then there is no point in continuing this relationship. Because we are from two different cultures.
But you know I wouldnt say that. Im too chicken/Im not that pissed anymore/Im just whatever..
One thing I really, really dont like is when he expects me to be like someone else.
I expect you to know it!
How would I know?
Other people know it
I am not other people.
And now, he expects me to be like his mom, cooking healthy dishes everyday. Which, Im willing to change because I know he likes his food to be healthy not because I think its healthy.