Trip back home.

So I went back to Chiang Mai, Thailand from 4Jan to 21Jan for 17 days. I love the life there, it’s carefree and easy unlike the business of the city.

The day I went back, the water stopped running, which was pretty funny because I had to bathe and all. Luckily, my family had stored water in this big container. I also remembered the times where we had to eat in the dark because the solar panels for our lights were spoilt. Or the fact that I had to watch my drama on my laptop 10mins at a time because there wasn’t enough electricity to charge it.

Yes, there is no electricity at my place. No water heater, no rice cooker, no nothing.

I didn’t take much pictures (who take pictures of their homes?) so I have little to offer, but this is what I have. :)

Highlights of the trip was going to the nearby Kindergarden (the next village) to celebrate Children’s Day. Unfortunately, it rained the night before and the ground was all slippery and wet. After walking on the path, your slippers would have like 1inch of soil underneath. Really heavy, haha.

There was volunteers from a university that helped organized the event.

Someone asked me to sing a song, and I sang “The ABC Song”. I said, “That’s how kids learn their ABCs in my country.”

There was games later on, and parents could join in the fun.

There was only one teacher in the school, and that’s Teacher Noi.

The other highlight was going to my cousin’s wedding. Her village was an hour away, and I had to go there as soon as I woke up. The journey was very, very cold.

Here is the bride! It’s been years since I last saw her.

And her younger sister.

Me and Surinchai, he’s a deaf-mute but he’s very hardworking. Everyone says he has a good heart.

Well, that’s about it! I got darker/tanner when I went back to Singapore. :(
My mum’s from the Karen hilltribe in Thailand, if you’re wondering. I can speak their language, Pgaz K’Nyau, pretty well, but I can’t speak Thai. Yikes!

Being strong inside

Have you ever tried to put on a brave front so hard that you’re insides are screaming at you? Well, I did.

My father called 2 nights ago, saying how he could not afford to pay for my studies. At that moment, I broke down and cried. I somehow still blamed my boyfriend for influencing me at that time to take up a much stable course. I resent the fact that even though he place me in this position – a school drop out, he have no power to help me up at all.

I can’t continue this topic, I’m feeling pretty emotional.

I try so hard to be a good girlfriend, a good daughter, a good sister, and act like a mom at home but, I lost who am I. I hate that 90% of my time is for others and not me.

Before I was everything else, when I was just me, I was happy. Happy to design, happy to photoshop, to play games, to simply do what I like. But now, I’m just doing what others want me to do. Be a good girlfriend? Sure! Be a good sister? Sure! Act like my mom? Sure!  Time to design, and be happy? F U.

But, I’m not going to whine and cry and be miserable anymore. The first thing on my 2012 resolution, is to make time for myself.

A day off from being a sister, mom and girlfriend. A day for just being the happy geeky me. 

PS/ My dad came back, and I wouldn’t want him to see his daughter crying. Thus, the sudden end to this entry.

Another day passed

Another day passed, nothing much happen. I did however, went to the 2011 SNSD Concert. I wasn’t excited about it, because probably I was in a lousy mood these days. Do you know when you’re pms-ing? I do, I feel so edgy, easily irritable now.

I do hope these moods passed, I don’t like putting my boyfriend in a spot.

Other than that, Risa, Farhana and I are in the middle of coming up with a whole bunch of internet network. It seems all very exciting, and I hope the idea kicks off. I’m already drawing up ideas and content in my mind. When the plan solidifies, I would reveal more details.

Due to work and boyfriend, I don’t have the time to be on my laptop to do up Ribbonhood. I like its look now, however am a bit annoyed at the default banner images. I want to put up some of my photography, but I am no photography person. I don’t even own a digital camera.

I’ve brought back some of my visitors content – most of them are reads, but they are one of my favorites as they never change unlike graphic styles. I’m thinking of making a minimalist wordpress theme to put up for download, maybe something greatly inspired by the default wordpress theme.

My life is perfect.

For many months, maybe even almost half a year, my macbook’s airport had been down. It’s not that I don’t want to send it for repairs – it’s expensive. So, I had to rely on my iphone whenever I need to surf the net, or even blog. Yay for WordPress iphone application! :)

Today, I decided to go get my mac repaired. It was payday, and I was feeling a little bit generous to myself. But I decided to give my macbook one last chance before digging $300 out from my pay. And it works! My heart lit up like a kid who got her favourite ice cream. The airport is still spoilt, so I can’t be on wifi. I’m happy enough for that wire cable thingy to connect to my modem. :)

Life’s perfect.

Until ribbonhood crashed. Yes, I lost all my post and pages. The horror! It was like minutes after I got my macbook back. It was a mixture of feelings. But it crashed, in a good way. I feel like this is some sort of renewed sense of belonging. My writing style have changed, and my design perspective too.

I really hope this last. :) This feeling of contentment.